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The Apostles' Twelve-Nut Medley
Twelve nuts. Twelve apostles. Zero Judas (we checked, he's a raisin).
$18per bag
He lives in Moscow, Idaho — in a duplex off the 4th Street bridge, third floor,
near the good coffee. But He has also returned to other parts of earth, and
wherever He goes, He goes hungry.
So we do what anybody would do. We vacuum-seal the air out of dried fruit,
dried vegetables and nuts, and ship them from a garage in the Palouse — eventually, if the prayer goes well.
100% nonprofit. Every almond goes to work.
No affiliation with any church. No health claims. Only snack claims. All snack claims are independently verified.
Our official position, confirmed by no less than one (1) witness who happens to be
delivering a pallet of hazelnuts: He is in Moscow, Idaho.
That said, the early church never said He couldn't be in more than one place at a time —
and honestly, the man has a track record of walking through walls.
So: Moscow is home. Everything else is a satellite campus.
The Garage For Jesus is a real garage behind a real duplex. It has a real dehumidifier, a real chest freezer, and a real tote of packing material we bought at a garage sale for eleven dollars. Amen.
Reports also come from Portland, Seattle, Boise, Coeur d'Alene, Bellingham, Pullman, Missoula, and one farm stand outside Creston, BC. We do not verify. He is not good at keeping a low profile.
Our official position: anyone with a beard and long hair who looks like Jesus might, in fact, be Jesus. We do not require proof. We offer him a sample bag and a respectful nod. That is the whole policy.
Every bag is weighed, de-air, sealed and reserved by hand. No air. No nonsense. No preservatives except time.
Twelve nuts. Twelve apostles. Zero Judas (we checked, he's a raisin).
The five loaves were a thought experiment. This is the real bread part.
Carrots, corn, peas, beans, bell pepper. Grows in a bag. Barely grows at all.
When the Spirit came upon them, they were suddenly very hungry and very sticky.
Our proprietary Beard Identification Array™ cross-references hair density, sandal usage, eye contact duration, and the faint smell of Damascus. Results are spiritually suggestive and legally meaningless.
Anyone in actual sandals in Idaho in February is statistically likely to be Him. Our index says 71%.
He will look at you longer than is comfortable and then say something about the weather. He will be right about the weather.
Any subject within 40 feet of a dove is upgraded one full tier. This happened once in Coeur d'Alene and we still talk about it.
Twelve photographs of a man with a beard and long hair who looks at you a little too long. Zero of them are confirmed. We made a page about it anyway.
We do not claim to heal anything. We claim to feed people. Which, historically, has been the more reliable miracle anyway.
We do not do this alone. Two very fine people/organizations are helping us feed people, and we are helping them do the same.
An uplifting documentary celebrating the wisdom, laughter and stories of elders worldwide. We sponsor filming days and supply soft dried fruit to the care facilities they visit. They supply the reason to keep going.
→ yourlastprayer.org
A plant-based African food revolution starting in Accra, Ghana. Dried fruit and nuts ship light, keep long, and feed a lot of people. We will send them a pallet, once we are allowed to ship anything at all. They open a Garden.
→ kyzo.org
A gift box of soft dried fruit for residents in care facilities, shipped with a card and a free mini-film of their story made by the Your Last Prayer team.
Bulk dried fruit and nut shipments to plant-based grocers and community kitchens in Accra, Mombasa, Zanzibar and Dar es Salaam, priced nonprofit-to-near-cost.
Our nonprofit funds a free filming day for a care facility or senior center. They film a story. We send snacks for everyone involved.
Pre-orders only, by phone or in person. Nonprofit to the bone. Air removed. Nonsense removed too, honestly.